Clothes

Turtlenecks from Howlin’ Knitwear

7th December 2015
Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

Anyone partake in Movember this year? I didn’t. You see removing my facial fur transforms my phiz into what I would imagine Billy Corgan and J K Simmon’s to resemble having been fused together at a molecular-genetic level. Like in ‘The Fly’, but instead of a housefly they were joined in the tele-pod by a fucking moomin. It’s not pretty. Mothers scream, babies wail and grown men have been known to uncontrollably soil themselves on sight of my freshly cleaver’d dish.

Now as an alternative, I considered selling some old knitwear and donating the funds to a good cause of my choice. But then I clocked eyes these Turtlenecks from Howlin’ and that put pay to my fleeting charitable inclination. Please don’t judge me.

These woollen knits are proper, yet I’m fearful wearing a turtleneck may lead to me roasting chestnuts on an open fire and watching films like ‘The Holiday’ featuring that absolute spunk-biscuit Jude Law. Not that I could ever bring myself to sit through such contrived dross. And even if I did it would only be because my lass really likes it and nothing to do with it making me feel all happy and warm inside or anything.

Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

Howlin Turtleneck Knitwear to buy

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